


Retreat to the Cabin

by ShimmeringDarkness



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShimmeringDarkness/pseuds/ShimmeringDarkness
Summary: The BAU gets a vacation free from children and work, so they all head out to Dave's cabin for some fun and relaxation. And in Garcia's case, as many dirty secrets as she can pry from her secretive crime-fighting superheroes, while trying to push her teammates and friends together. Just how much can she accomplish in 7 days away.Note: Definitely explicit content at points, 18 and up, you've been warned.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Emily Prentiss/David Rossi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	1. Never Have I Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my AU setup here is Will was killed in the line of duty when Henry was like 3, because I like Will and don’t want to bash him but I need him gone for this story, but JJ’s moved on. Henry’s 7, Jack is 9, both Hotch and JJ like each other but won’t take the first step even though everyone is trying to push them towards each other, and Emily and Dave are in the same position. Also, ages and dates are twisted around for what I want to happen so you’ve been put on notice. And, Spencer is less shy, he’s a lot more adventurous and out there than everyone thinks. Obviously, I don’t own CM or any of the characters.

It was nearly the end of the workday on Thursday when Strauss left Hotch’s office, where she had been meeting with him and Rossi. The whole team had been trying to figure out what was happening, even Garcia had come up from her lair to try and peek, since there were no security cameras in the personal offices. So, when Strauss finally left they were all quick to try and look like they were working, though she had actually been pretty nice to them lately, they didn’t want to push it. As soon as she disappeared out of the bullpen’s line of sight they were all trying to look into the office again to see why Rossi hadn’t come out yet. Little did they know Hotch had seen his curious agents and they were just chatting about the camping trip Jack was going on with the boy scouts that Aaron had gotten out of chaperoning just to make them more curious. After about 5 minutes Hotch stood up and said to his old friend “Alright, let’s go tell them the good news and put them out of their misery.” Rossi nods and they head out of the office and walk along the catwalk telling the agents that failed to look like they weren’t spying (all of them other than JJ who was still in her office actually working), to meet them in the conference room. Hotch went and grabbed JJ too on the way by.

The team gathered in their usual spots, a little confused but knowing bugging Rossi until Hotch got in was going to get them nowhere. JJ and Hotch walked in and Derek groaned “Case seriously, I thought we had this weekend off.” Hotch shot him a fake glare, knowing his team was the only ones that could tell the difference between them, before saying “We do, I’m sure JJ could find one for you to go consult on though if you’d like, or you can let me talk?” Derek raised his hands in innocence “Nope, all good.” Hotch grumped “Mhm,” before continuing “What we came in here for is to tell you, that Strauss has determined we could use some vacation time for some ‘team bonding’ and starting tomorrow, we are guaranteed off until next monday, meaning 10 days off, Garcia, sorry, you still have to come in tomorrow until Cooper’s team gets in the air from their case in Arizona, apparently the tech their work with went home today sick and won’t be in tomorrow either, after that you’re off with us.” Garcia cheered “Yes! Finally someone understands they need to match my vacation with your guys’! Good job bossman.” Hotch gave her a look before saying “Thanks, Garcia, I figured you would want yours the same days as us so one day difference was the best I could do, since Strauss couldn’t leave Cooper with no support.” Derek spoke up in an amused voice “I know all the techs are supposed to have a few teams they work with and occasionally help out the smaller ones without their own tech, how exactly did you end up pretty much only working with us and the BAU C team baby girl?” She spoke up smugly, “Because I’m the goddess of all things wonderful, actually because I’m not under my original contract anymore so I could end it if I wanted to and the suits know that and they don’t want to lose my magical abilities so I can negotiate a lot more, and this is what I wanted.” Hotch let a small smirk curl onto his face when he said “You know Garcia, I remember when that was my nickname from you?” She shrugged “I didn’t like you then, now I obviously do, so your bossman now and all the annoying  _ suits _ have yet to earn a new nickname.” He just shook his head before saying “Okay then, anyways what Dave and I were thinking, well he came up with idea, I hesitantly agreed, but since Jack and Henry both have a summer break scouts sleepover camp thing this week conveniently enough, starting Saturday afternoon and going until next Saturday, if everyone agrees, we could have an adult vacation out at Dave’s mansion at Little Creek for the week, and come back Saturday to pick Jack and Henry up.”

Garcia bounced up and down in her seat “Oh yes, yes, yes this is a great idea, it will be so much fun, I mean, I’ll need to see my favorite two kids in the world when we get back, but this will be fun.” JJ shrugged “I’m in, Henry’s gone all week anyway, and when your only conversation is usually a 7 year old, and adult week sounds good.” Derek nodded “Why not, you got cell phone service out there Rossi?” Dave nodded and said “Yeah, it’s my cabin in the woods, but it’s got internet, cell service, we’re not isolating you from the world.” Emily nodded, “Yeah there’ll be good alcohol, sounds good, my neighbor can watch Sergio, she’s a nice older lady who feeds him when we’re on cases.” Everyone looked to Reid and he shrugged, “Yeah, I’ll go, it sounds fun.” Garcia squealed “Yay yay yay, I can’t wait, I already have so many plans.” The team groaned “Nothing too out there please baby girl?” Morgan asked. She sent him a look and said “I mean, I won’t kill anyone but oh no, this is going to be so fun, no work, out in the woods with privacy, oh this’ll be fun.” The team just looked scared but Hotch spoke again, “Alright, so basic information, we’ll all get out there Saturday afternoon, it’s just under 2 hours away, there’s a small town it’s closeish to but try not to forget things. I’m bringing an SUV out there because it is in the woods and knowing all of you, in case there’s an emergency, Garcia, I wouldn’t bring your car but I think that’s about it. Finish your paperwork today please so I can get everything bumped up to Strauss before we leave.”

Friday dragged on for all of the team, who were more than a little excited for this vacation. Other teams didn’t understand how close they were, how like a family they were, and those that understood it came from spending practically every waking minute with each other, didn’t get why they would want to see each other when they were off, but they missed each other. A day or two, sure it was nice to have a break, especially for the holidays when they could see their families, but for now, they were excited to spend some time together, not worrying about kids or work the next morning. 

Saturday morning Dave headed out to his cabin early so he could stock up food as much as possible, and make sure everything was ready for the team. Derek had agreed to drive Emily, Reid and Penelope out there, because neither Spencer or Penelope had good cars to drive out there, and he lived pretty close to each other. JJ and Hotch had met up and taken the boys to the boy scouts week-away camp, leaving both their phone numbers for each boy, and Dave’s cabin’s house number just in case, before beginning their drive out in Hotch’s SUV. They arrived last, with most of the team arriving between 12 and 1, so when they got there at 2:30, both noticed with amusement the line of 3 nearly identical SUVs after they had parked. They walked in and were happily greeted by Dave who gave them a quick tour and showed them to their rooms before they settled in the living room with the others. JJ flopped down and said “I love Henry, I absolutely adore him, but a week of no 6 am ‘Mommy get up,’ I can’t wait.” The group just laughed and Hotch groaned “You think she’s joking.” Making JJ speak “Yeah, I’m not, any of you try to wake me up before 7 at the earliest and you will have a knife to your throat.” Emily’s eyes widened “Message received mama bear.” The team laughed again and fell silent.

After a minute Derek said “Do you normally sleep with a knife, just curious, not that I would ever do anything…” JJ snorted, “Yeah right, and not under my pillow or anything that would be weird but there’s usually one hidden within reaching distance.” Reid’s eyebrows shot up “Why do you sleep with a knife?” She shrugged “Old habits I guess, I lock my gun up with a kid around, and after Will, well I wanted something near my bed just in case, so I started carrying my knife more than just on the job, now I feel weird if I try to sleep without one near.” Hotch looked at her “You carry a knife?” She nodded “Yeah, my certification is appended to my Academy graduation report, so it’s all good, and seriously, none of you knew, I mess with it sometimes on cases when I’m thinking and stuff.” She looked at them surprised, noticing their wide eyes so she continued “Yeah, even without my gun, I’m rarely unarmed at all anymore, I have a lot of hidden spots I can keep one, none of you knew?” Emily spoke up while the rest of them just looked at her, “I knew.” JJ waved her off saying “Yeah, I’d hope you knew, or I’d take back your certification and make you redo the whole waste of time class.” 

Penelope looked around confused, “What certification? Huh?” JJ explained “Unlike your firearms certification, the FBI doesn’t make you renew one for a knife, some type of screw up in the legal policy whatever, unless yours get retracted, then you have to redo the whole course all over.” Emily picked up her explanation “So despite being more than qualified, too much of my work at interpol was classified and they didn’t have enough to base off, I had to take the knives and blades certification course for the FBI, and JJ here is such an expert she was one of the instructors of my class. I’m pretty sure she actually made it harder for me than necessary.” JJ shrugged, “I knew you could do it, why not help push my team to be even better, I would have passed you as long as you hit the requirements, but now you’re almost as good as me.” The team looked back and forth between the two of them so Emily sighed out, “It’s just like how Hotch carries a second gun, but I like to carry a knife, and obviously JJ does too.” The team nodded and moved on after Dave said, “At some point I want to see the two of you with your knives” to which they agreed. 

Garcia spoke up then and said “Okay people, we are not at work for the next 9 days, which means work rules don’t apply, and more importantly, and of the fun, new, embarrassing secrets I pry out of all of you, can not by used by anyone, for teasing at work, capisce? Capisce. And yes I just agreed for all of you. Okay.” They all just stared at her for a second before nodding and Derek said “Yeah, of course mama, but we are allowed to keep some things private, you don’t need to make it your mission to learn every microscopic detail about us.” She looked at him as though she was wondering if he had gone nuts before saying “Oh but I do, because I am the oracle of all things knowable, and this is my chance to learn everything my electronic babies cannot find, though very little, it does exist unfortunately.” The team laughed, ever amused by the powerful whirlwind that is Penelope Garcia.

After a minute of peaceful silence, Emily spoke “Well if you’re going to ask us all sorts of questions, and I’m sure you are even if we tell you not to, so I have a question for you first.”

Penelope nodded curiously so Emily spoke “On Friday, you called Hotch a suit or something and said you didn’t like him when you first met him. Why not? What changed?” Penelope looked at her hands before looking to Hotch who nodded so she spoke, “Technically I could tell you anyways because that contract’s up, but I wouldn’t have if bossman didn’t want me to, so, Emily, we had a case where everyone found out a lot more about my past but you were in London but this should get you caught up, anyway, most of you know that I was recruited into the FBI, but it wasn’t exactly that. It was that or prison.” Emily’s eyes widened and Reid looked confused “But I was on the team, I would’ve known about that when we recruited you, right?” Hotch spoke up, “No, it was too classified, Gideon didn’t know the whole story, Derek and I did though because we were the ones to talk to her, Strauss knew, her boss knew, and the Director knew in addition to us, that was it, no one else knew the whole thing.” Reid nodded so Hotch continued with what Penelope wouldn’t have known “We had been hunting the Black Queen for a while, but no one could figure out who the actual person was, the skill level was so far above any tech support the Bureau had, until she finally messed up and we caught her. By all rights she should’ve gone to prison, but the director wanted her, and so did I. I put in a request that if we could convince her to join the FBI she would be my team’s technical analyst, and he agreed. So, when we went for a case, I got the privilege of first in the interrogation room with her.” Garcia interrupted “Which, while amusing to watch the bossman crack evil unsubs, is not so fun to have that mean look aimed at one’s self, I might add.” Hotch nodded concedingly and continued “So, I may have terrified her with threats, until she agreed to the FBI option.” Penelope interrupted again “Which you didn’t have to do, I would’ve taken the option, going to prison was never part of the plan, a fine or something maybe, spending the rest of my life in prison, not the goal of getting caught.” JJ spoke up, “Wait, goal? I’m confused.” So Garcia explained “They thought they had caught me, but clearly no one thought about the fact that I had repeatedly hacked into government databases and not gotten caught, yet I hack into a cosmetics company, and get caught. What part of that doesn’t make sense, oh wait, I let myself get caught. I needed an out, I didn’t think it’d be quite so drastic but, yeah.”

The whole room sat in thought for a minute before Garcia continued “Anyways, obviously I didn’t like our esteemed leader much while I was handcuffed to a table in front of him, and he was wearing a suit looking like an annoying stuffy federal agent, so his name was ‘Suit’. Believe me, it wasn’t a compliment.” Hotch snorted “Never thought it was.” and Garcia spoke again “So I agreed but I needed to write a resume so Derek brought my purse in to me with paper and stuff in it, which by the way, you did take my phone and laptop out, but you missed my tablet, it was hidden in a double hidden pocket where I knew no one would find it, never mentioned that before I don’t think, but anyway, his nickname was ‘Eyebrows’ then, though looking back, you really hated me didn’t you?” Derek shrugged “I mean, we were letting a person we arrested join the FBI, pardon me for being cautious, though now I know what a mistake it was babygirl, so sorry.” “Forgiven Hot Stuff.” Derek thought for a minute before saying “There is no way there were any electronics left, I searched the whole thing.” She tilted her head and disappeared up the stairs leaving confused agents behind before bringing down a colorful purse. “It’s identical to the one I had that day, just instead of black it’s colorful to fit my wardrobe change, pull out all the electronics.” The whole team watched as he hesitantly reached out and set it on the coffee table before saying “That was different, I didn’t know you, now I love you and I feel like I’m intruding by going through your stuff.” She waved at it and said “There’s nothing I wouldn’t want you to see in there, and I’m telling you to.” He sighed and said “I feel like I’m being set up to fail here.” Rossi snorted and said “Because you are, she’s already told you that you missed something years ago, this is just proving that.” Derek shook his head and started running his hands over seams and flipping through pockets, pulling out a laptop, phone, iPod, her bluetooth headphones, and a second phone. He looked over everything before setting it back down and saying “Damn babygirl, please don’t tell me I missed that much in the bag I gave you.” “No, you didn’t, you only missed a tablet that time, but…” She opened the main pocket and rifled through for a minute before pulling out a tablet. “You missed it again.” He put his hands up and leaned back into the sofa saying “I concede mama, I probably did miss something, I swear I checked all the seams and pockets, even the hidden one in the bottom.” Hotch snorted “Obviously not, because she didn’t just make that tablet appear out of nowhere it was in there.” She smiled and said “The bossman is correct my chocolate thunder. It’s okay though, I was just making a point.” And with that she started storing devices away into all sorts of pockets before setting the bag off to the side and the room lapsed into a peaceful silence watching the TV. 

After a little while Dave said “Well, I’m getting hungry so I’m going to start dinner, but first I want to see the two ladies’ knives that we never knew about.” Emily reached behind her while JJ reached though a hidden slat on her thigh and they both pulled them out. After everyone looked interested so Emily hopped up and said, “You have to see JJ thow hers, it’s impressive.” JJ sighed but stood up after everyone looked interested so they walked to the backyard and Emily walked to a tree marking a small X and walking back to the group. She gestured to JJ who stood there and said “You seem so interested in me throwing, you first.” Emily sighed but walked next to JJ and looked at the tree for a minute before throwing her knife easily, landing barely a inch off the X. Rossi nodded appreciatively saying “Very impressive” and trying to ignore the lust he was feeling from watching the woman go badass. Emily nodded her thanks and said, “Now JJ gets to show me up” from her spot next to Rossi. JJ took no notice of the comment, simply tilted her head at the X and released the knife, landing it perfectly in the center of the X. Hotch looked impressed, saying “Wow, JJ, that’s impressive, why have you never used that on cases?” “Usually a gun is easier with an unsub, but I use it to cut ropes and such plenty, far more often than I’d like honestly.”

The rest of the night went pretty peacefully and uneventfully, as did Sunday, until Sunday afternoon, when Garcia decided that they needed to start playing some games. She dragged all of them into the living room so that they were all more or less sitting in a circle. She dropped onto a fluffy chair of her own saying “Okay, we are going to play never have I ever because we have not exposed any deep secrets yet. And if anyone has been to one of the sexual harassment seminars recently, you will know how to play, only we are playing the dirty version.” Derek nodded and Rossi did as well, “The rest of you if you don’t know how to play, I shall enlighten you.” Hotch groaned “I love that almost half of my team has been sent to sexual harassment training recently.” Garcia just gave him an innocent look before saying “So, you put 10 fingers up, and the goal is to try and be the last one still with fingers up at the end, by saying never have I ever fill in the blank. Your ideas can be anything clean or dirty, and since we are all adults, once you run out of fingers, you have to take a shot until there's a winner. I will start.” Derek laughed and nodded as they all rolled their eyes as they put their fingers up anyways, saying “Okay mama, go ahead.” She thought for a moment before saying “Never have I ever been part of a group orgy.” Nearly the whole team spluttered at that, while Hotch actually choked on the beer he was drinking. JJ gave her a look before saying “Are we seriously going there PG?” She laughed and said “Oh this game will not be PG my blonde beauty, and yes we are seriously going there.” The team laughed at her play off JJ’s nickname for her. Eventually Derek put a finger down, as did JJ. The whole group stared at her prompting an indignant “Derek put down a finger too, don’t just look at me!” Garcia spluttered “But, but he’s him and you’re, you’re you, you’re…” JJ interrupted her spluttering with a smirk saying “Not nearly as perfect and innocent as I look.” Emily looked to Garcia and said, “Are we playing with follow ups? Garcia nodded and said “Of course” while JJ protested vehemently but got nowhere, so Emily demanded, “Details, both of you.” JJ finally shrugged and said “College, I was at a little party in this guy named Josiah’s room, there were like 8 of us, all really good friends, we were all single, it was fun, we did it a couple more times before we all started dating people and out thing ended, we never got caught in the dorm room.” Derek nodded, “College frat party, a bunch of  _ hot _ ladies in skimpy clothes, 4 girls, 4 guys, it was fun, only did it once though.” 

JJ’s turn was next and said “Never have I ever gotten in a bar fight.” Emily, Hotch, Rossi, Derek, and Spencer all put down fingers and Garcia exclaimed, “Good god, I am learning all sorts of juicy stories, details now.” Emily shrugged “I was barely legal, like 22 I think, obnoxious pig wouldn’t leave me and my friend alone, tried to push me against a wall and kiss me, received a fist to the mouth instead. Apparently he was a regular, the bartender would kick him out and he’d be back a week later and was tired of his antics so I got free drinks the rest of the night.” Hotch spoke “I was in a bar with Sean, this guy kept grabbing a girl sitting near us at the bar, she kept trying to push him away but he was muscled and she was tiny so I just shoved him away from her, fight ensued.” Rossi spoke “Some asshole had too much to drink was saying racist crap, I told him to shut up and he started throwing punches.” Derek said “Pretty much the same as Hotch but I was with a couple college buddies.” Everyone looked to Reid and Derek said a shocked “Pretty boy was in a bar fight?” Spencer shrugged “I’m not nearly as innocent as you all seem to think, I did grow up in Vegas, but I was at a casino’s bar in Vegas and this macho asshole was walking around groping people and he rubbed himself up against a woman I was talking to, she shoved him away, but he seemed really interested and wouldn’t leave her alone, ended up with him trying to punch me and him face first into the bar.” The whole team looked wide eyed and impressed when Derek said “Damn pretty boy, nice,” followed by Garcia saying “I was going to be mad at all of you for getting into bar fights, but literally every single one of you was doing it to stand up for someone else, how can I be mad now?” The team laughed at her ‘dilemma’ but all finding it amusing that she was right, no one was getting into fights for no reason, at least not that they shared.

Hotch’s turn was next and he said “Never have I ever kissed a guy.” All three girls put fingers down with annoyed looks sent his way, followed by Derek and Spencer putting fingers down. Derek simply said “I already explained, group orgy” with a shrug but when the team looked at Spencer, he looked down and mumbled “I’m bi so I’ve dated a guy before.” Emily was the first to pick up on his nervousness and said “Were you that scared to tell us Spencer? None of us would judge. It’s not a big deal, it’s just part of you.” Spencer just shrugged but sent her a slight smile before Garcia squealed “Yeah, now I have double the pool of people to set you up with,” making Reid groan.

Emily was up next and said “Never have I ever been to a strip club.” Everyone but her dropped a finger and she looked wide eyed at them “The hell guys?” Rossi was the one to answer saying “You were in London, we had a case in Vegas and we had to go to a strip club to talk to some people, I don’t know about Garcia though.” Everyone looked at her and she smiled innocently “My friend’s 21st birthday, we went bar hopping and ended up at a strip club.”

Next it was Rossi who said, “Never have I ever had a hangover.” Everyone but him and Hotch dropped a finger getting shocked looks and a “What? How?!” from multiple teammates. They just shrugged and Hotch said “Apparently we just handle liquor better.”

Reid’s turn came and he said “Never have I ever been walked in on having sex.” This time only Hotch and Rossi dropped a finger. Hotch explained first saying “Jess walked in on Haley and I when we were home on week for the holidays during college.” Everyone looked to Rossi who said “Uh, It was someone at the bureau, in a storage closet, caught by another agent.” Derek narrowed his eyes suspiciously and said “There is way more to that story, who was it?” Rossi took a big gulp of his beer before saying “Hotch walked in on Erin and I.” The whole group turned to Hotch who grimaced, “And that image is unfortunately burned into my mind, no matter how much I try to forget it.” The rest of the team grimaced while Spencer grumped “Welcome to my daily life.”

Derek’s turn came up next and he smiled gleefully shooting a mischievous look at Spencer who groaned, and glared when Derek said, “Never have I ever been groped on a case.” Spencer grumbled “I hate you” under his breath but put a finger down, as did JJ and Emily drawing shocked and slightly angry looks from the team, but especially Hotch and Rossi who each liked one of them and felt protective of them. Garcia rubbed her hands together saying “ohh 187 I sense a story.” Reid just glared at her and Morgan before staying silent making Derek pipe up “Yeah pretty much every time we have to interview any type of sexual women they all hit on, pinch, and grope our pretty boy.” The team snickered before Derek tilted his head towards Emily and JJ and said “Sorry, I was actually only trying to get Reid.” JJ shrugged “You wouldn’t have known how common it was because for as much as we like to tease you about being a player, you do actually have manners and treat women properly.” Derek got a smug little smirk before Rossi looked at them consideringly and said “How often do you two get touched on cases?” They looked at each other and before Emily snorted out a derisive laugh and said “On average I would guess at least one of the two of us every case, maybe every other, it’s really common honestly.” All the men in the room looked thoroughly pissed at that and JJ tried to calm them down saying “Guys, it’s not that big of a deal, well it kind of is, but it’s just life, calm down.” Hotch let out a breath before saying “Why didn’t either of you tell any of us?” Garcia spoke up then “I know I don’t go on cases with you but if you actually realised the depths of grossness some men go to, we would be trying to hide the bodies you four killed left and right.” Derek frowned, “Is it really that bad?” JJ shook her head “Not bad as in causing any harm, but yeah, it does occur that frequently, usually we just ignore it or privately tell the officer off, but Em, can I tell them about the one raid?” Emily nodded and laughed “Oh yeah” so JJ continued “Normally it’s like around the station, or getting coffee or something, but Emily told me once after you guys went on a raid once, that she, an officer, and Rossi I think were waiting for the sign to enter the back door of a house and the officer decided it was the perfect time to cop a feel, seriously, on a raid for a dangerous criminal, that guy got seriously chewed out by both of us when we got back to the station, and we told the chief.” Emily rolled her eyes and JJ said “Anyway, this is supposed to be fun, dirty stories, not depressing stuff so Garcia, moving along…”

Garcia nodded as it was her turn again and said “Alright… “Never have I ever had sex with more people than a threesome.” JJ and Derek both dropped fingers obviously, as did Rossi. JJ and Derek both said they had already explained, so Dave just simply said “foursome with a couple from a club and another hot lady.”

JJ’s turn came next and she said “Never have I ever…. Uhm…. Gotten myself off in the last week.” Derek, Rossi, Hotch, Reid, and Garcia all dropped a finger, making JJ reply “God now I feel slightly left out with Emily here” while pouting her lip dramatically. The guys laughed and Derek said “Weelll I don’t think there’s any follow ups to that, pretty self explanatory question sooo Hotch’s turn.”

For Hotch’s turn, he spoke, “Never have I ever gone to the wrong hotel room on a case.” The only one who put down a finger was JJ, who glared at him, while Garcia demanded the story, so JJ pitifully explained, “I was really really tired and I didn’t read the room number right and I guess Aaron was in the bathroom because I walked in and just crashed on the bed, and then next thing I know he’s shaking me awake saying that I was in the wrong room.”

Emily was up and after thinking for a moment said “Never have I ever kissed someone on the team. Derek and Rossi both put down fingers and after a second both said “Oh no, not him.” Bringing the team to laughter Derek explained “One time my baby girl was really sad so I went over to her apartment and while we were watching a movie I kissed the top of her head.” Rossi nodded “Also Penelope, but in her office when she was freaking out about how she wasn’t finding any information, I kissed her head to try and calm her down.” The team nodded their understanding so they moved on.

Rossi went next and for his turn said “Never have I ever drunk underage.” Penelope, Emily, Derek, Reid, and Hotch all dropped fingers. Penelope was the first to explain saying “You all know when my parents died I went down a rabbit hole and alcohol was definitely part of that. Derek went next saying “I had more than a couple college frat parties where I got questionable drunk.” Hotch went next saying “I wasn’t always so tense and strict, I had plenty of fun in college.” The whole team laughed and Garcia said “You need to show that side with us more when we’re not at work, I like when you're being all fun with us like this.” Hotch shrugged and Reid spoke up “Mine should be pretty obvious, I went to college at 12, 13 years old, I had more than I few drinks before I should’ve, and then well, I would get fake IDs online from 17 to 20 basically so I could get into casinos, that was the easiest way for me to get money, the kind I needed for Bennington, while going to school full time.” Penelope let out a tiny laugh and when everyone looked to he she looked away and said “I’m pretty sure I made at least a couple of your fake IDs 187, I feel like I remember your picture and I’m pretty sure I could find the old files somewhere in my old laptop.” The team let out slight laughs at that but Reid just shrugged and said “You made really real fake IDs which might not be a compliment now that you work for the FBI but you did, no one ever questioned any of them. They did a double take to read the age of few times, but no one ever said it was fake” Penelope smiled and said “But of course, the all knowing oracle of everything technological made them.” The team laughed and looked to Emily who looked down before saying, “I was in high school, moving around the world, I’d do anything to fit in, and drinking at 15, 16 was one of the many careless choices I made.”

Penelope looked around the room, taking in how many fingers people had left observing to the group “So apparently Hotch, Emily and I are all the least out there because we all of 5 left, Rossi had 4 left, Reid and JJ have 3 left, and Derek has 1 left.” Derek looked around curiously and seeing she was right laughed and acknowledged “I would have guessed wrong all over the place if we had tried to predict where people would end up, I would have definitely guess JJ and pretty boy to have way more left, not be the closest to me, I probably would have guessed Rossi to be closer to where I am and maybe Emily too, but I guess we’re just learning all kinds of things.” The team laughed slightly and looked around at where everyone was.

Reid’s turn was up next and he said, “Never have I ever gone without sex for more than 6 months since I was legal, well 21 legal.” No one was surprised when Hotch rolled his eyes and put a finger down, but both Emily and Derek did too, getting very confused looks making Garcia say “Okay, when were your bouts of celibacy and for how long, and maybe why too if you want to give me lots of juice.” Hotch shrugged, “Not that it wasn't obvious but not for just over 5 years now, not since Haley and I split.” Garcia gasped “Geesh bossman, you need to get  _ laid _ .” He just shook his head “Noted Garcia.” Derek went next and said “After everything with Buford I had issues until I was like 22 and far away from him in college so technically just over a year from 21-22.” Everyone looked to Garcia who looked away from the group after taking a loong pull from her beer bottle and said almost as a question “Um 10 years?” Garcia stared at her and just gasped “How is that even possible?! You’re 30 that’s sooo long. Whyyy would you do that to yourself?” Emily just sighed and said “Thanks for finally answering Derek’s question on how old I am PG, but how, by not having sex since I was 20, and why, because sex uhm, it isn’t good for me, it never has been.” Penelope just said “And I thought Hotch needed to get laid, girl you do too. What about all those guys that you talked to from bars and girls nights?” Emily smirked “I said I haven’t had sex, not that I haven’t dated, I’m not Derek Morgan, I don’t fall into bed on a first date.” Derek slapped a hand over his chest pretending to be grievously offended and also taking the attention of Emily which she was very grateful for even as he exclaimed “How could you possibly make such an accusation, Ms. Prentiss, I don’t always.” Emily snorted, “Right, because the fact that you’re out of fingers helps your case so much.” Derek just shrugged making Garcia speak up and say “Well, normally Derek would have to do a shot now that he’s out, but, I’m kinda over this game, for tonight at least, soooo we are going to play the epitome of sleepover games now, truth or dare.” The whole group groaned and Penelope just rubbed her hand’s together deviously making them worried at what kind of dares she could come up with.


	2. Truth or Dare

The team all refreshed their beers and drinks, and all settled back into their chairs at Garcia said: “Okay, everyone ready for a fantastically dirty, secret revealing game of truth or dare?” The team groaned and Derek was the one to remind her “Just remember mama, we do still have to work together after this vacation, and questions come back around.” She just nodded, “I don’t care, I have very little to hide, but we can start cleaner if you would like. Hmmm. Emily, truth or dare?” Emily tilted her head before saying “I don’t want to move, truth.” Garcia nodded and said, “What are the 3 hardest things you’ve ever had to do in your life?” Emily sighed and leaned back in her chair “Jeez PG, start out with something deep why don’t you? When I had to die, when I had to leave Declan, anddddd can it just be two?” Garcia shook her head, “Nope, one more.” Emily sent her a pleading look before subtly looking to Rossi who she was next to and sending him a desperate look though a couple of the team noticed. Rossi, clearly understanding that she didn’t want to say anything about her abortion when she was 15, said: “Kitten, just let her do two, some people have things that they feel like they really need to keep to themselves.” Garcia looked to him with a squinty eye before grumbling, “Fine, but I don’t appreciate being kept out of the loop here you two.” Emily sent her a grateful smile making Penelope know she said the right thing even if she was very curious. 

Then Emily spoke up “Alright… Spencer, truth or dare?” Spencer paled slightly before saying “Truth.” Emily thought for a minute before saying “When was the last date you went on? How did it go and was it a girl or a guy?” Spencer smiled and said “Friday, girl, and very well.” Garcia squealed “Friday! My boy genius has game! Are you going to see her again?” Spencer nodded “Yeah, um we’ve actually been dating for about 5 months now.” Derek looked at him “Damn, and when were you going to tell us about her?” Spencer shrugged “I don’t know, I liked having a little bubble, where if she couldn’t be connected to the team, she couldn’t be threatened by unsubs or anything.” He seemed to realize what that statement could be alluding to and turned bright red before quickly apologizing “Oh my god, Hotch, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean that you did anything wrong I oh my god I didn’t mean to say that.” Hotch sent him a slight smile “Calm down Reid, I’m not offended, I’ll always feel guilty, that’s not your fault, if anything, I think it’s smart, I wouldn’t wish that type of pain on any of you, there’s no reason not to try and keep her safe with our jobs.” Reid smiled gratefully and relaxed back into his seat.

It was Reid’s turn to ask next to he said, “Okay… JJ, truth or dare?” JJ answered “truth” and Reid thought for a moment, and knowing Garcia’s plan to try and push the two almost couples together before the week was up, with a slight wink to Garcia that JJ noticed and groaned at, he said, “Describe your dream guy.” JJ blushed and shot a brief look to Hotch who was next to her, but he caught it and grinned thinking maybe he would have a shot with her after all when she replied: “Dark hair, tall, good with kids obviously, someone who understands the job.” She looked back up and looked around the group before saying “Dave, truth or dare?” He took a drink before saying “Truth.” JJ tilted her head and said, “So your reputation is kind of famous around the FBI, where’s the worst or kinkiest place you’ve ever had sex?” Rossi looked at her before saying, “I think the worst place would have to be a family restroom in a soccer game one summer in Italy.” “Alright, Aaron, you’re too quiet over there, truth or dare.” Hotch glared slightly before saying “Truth.” Dave nodded and said, “When was the last time you got yourself off?” Hotch actually blushed at that question before saying “Yesterday night.” The whole group looked at him and Garcia squeaked “While we were here?!” Hotch just sent her a look but surprisingly it was Reid to say “Did you actually expect with a group not one of us were going to get off while we were here for 7 days?” Garcia just said, “Well I don’t exactly think about my boss and coworkers getting off thank you very much.”

Hotch looked around the circle before saying “Derek you’ve been hiding over there. Truth or dare?” Derek gave him a smirk and said “Truth” so Hotch said, “You don’t hide how much you hook up with women and go out to clubs, so have you ever come into work still slightly drunk or hungover, and if you have when was the last time?” Derek looked away “Er yeah I have, and I think like 3 weeks ago, that Monday was not fun.” The team snickered “And that’s what you get for partying on a work night mr. player.” Emily scoffed. Derek shot her a look and said “Well apparently I’m getting more than you miss self-imposed celibacy. Truth or dare Emily?” “Oh God, Truth.” Derek smirked “When did you lose your virginity?” Emily shot him a look that should’ve turned him to stone before saying “15.” Derek’s eyes widened and he said “Damn Princess.” Emily just looked around before saying “Reid Truth or Dare?” “Truth.” “I’m curious, in our first game you were one of the least innocent ones, so when did you lose your virginity?” JJ snorted out a laugh, and asked: “Is that question just going to go all the way around to everyone?” Spencer shrugged before answering slightly hesitantly “Sophomore year of college.” Hotch narrowed his eyes “And how old exactly were you then, again?” Reid actually stuttered for the first time in the game despite its contents saying “uhm 14,” and at the shocked exclamations he quickly followed it up with “But I was almost 15, I was just over a month away so I wasn’t even that much younger than Emily.” None of the team looked pleased still but he said: “Nothing happened that was wrong, I was completely willing, I wanted everything, and she didn’t take advantage of me whatsoever, why’s it so different?” Emily was the one to answer saying “None of us are judging Spencer, we’re just worried about you, I was 15 with a 16-year-old in Italy at a private school, that’s a different situation than your first time being with a horny college student who was probably 6 or 7 years older than you and more than likely much bigger physically.” Spencer nodded “I get it, but I swear it wasn’t anything wrong or that I didn’t want. Derek truth or dare?” Derek shrugged and said “Truth,” so Spencer said, “Mr. Player, when did you lose your virginity.” Derek hesitated before saying, “The first time I uh actually had sex was 19 with a girl at college.” The team nodded so Emily spoke quickly to divert the attention “We’ve already asked three people the same question, I think everyone else should just answer.” Garcia shrugged “Fine by me, I was 16 and experimenting with the neighbor boy.” Rossi answered next by saying “18 on a vacation to Italy before college,” followed by JJ who shrugged and said, “19 my freshman year of college, I grew up in a tiny town, it would have been really awkward if it was someone from around there.” Finally, Hotch groaned and said, “Seriously, okay, 19 right before my freshman year and Hailey’s senior year, we waited until she was a legal adult.”

Then Derek said “JJ, Truth or Dare?” “Truth” “Have you ever liked a colleague, either at the FBI or another job?” JJ blushed heavily before nodding her affirmation and saying “Rossi?” “Truth.” JJ thought for a minute before asking “Were all of your exes good in bed and who was the best you ever done it with?” Dave thought before saying “My first was really, really good, my second was okay but obviously we ended up with Joy so something went right there and the third wasn’t good but that’s not why we ended, I feel like we were both rebounds for the other because she was a year off a divorce when we married and I was about the same. For the best, do you mean of the three?” JJ looked devious “Oh, no, ever in your life.” Dave sighed “The best ever would be Erin Strauss.” Emily gaped at him “You had sex with our section chief?!?” Dave shook his head “She wasn’t the section chief at the time, so she wasn’t so strict yet, and she was good, but it was more of a friends with benefits thing, not an actual dating thing and it ended a long time ago, before my retirement.

Rossi looked around and said “Kitten, you’re up, truth or dare?” “Why not dare my Italian stallion.” Rossi looked thoughtful before saying “Do a threeway kiss with Em and JJ if they’re okay with it obviously. JJ nodded and stood up saying “believe me, I have done far more scandalous with people I trusted far less in my sorority.” Emily agreed and stood up as well and the three of them kissed for a good couple of seconds, enough to get all four guys in the room at least partially hard by the time they sat back down. Garcia plopped back down with a “So simple Dave, now bossman, t or d?” Hotch thought for a minute before saying “Truth.” Garcia smirked before saying “You’re basically the epitome of a perfect rule-following agent at work, have you ever had inappropriate thoughts or desires about someone you work with?” To her surprise, Hotch nodded easily before looking to Reid “Reid, truth or dare?” “Truth.” “You’ve always portrayed an innocent young image at work, but today you're turning out not to be so innocent, so what’s your kinkiest fantasy?” Spencer hid his face behind his hands before saying “Absolutely not I cannot answer that.” Penelope looked at him, “why not? You’re surprisingly open on every other question, why not this?” “Because I don’t want to talk about my girlfriend like that with you.” “She’ll never know though.” “But when I introduce her to you as my girlfriend, just, ugh.” Emily’s eyes narrowed “Wait, as your girlfriend? Do we know her?” Reid gulped “Er yeah, some better than others.” Garcia squealed “Who, who, who?” “Hell no, I’m not telling you. Neither of us are telling our families until we’ve been dating for almost a year, just so we know we’re committed. I don’t see anything going wrong because I am completely in love with her already but... we want to be safe and make sure it’s going to last.” “How old is she?” “She’s 4 years older, and that’s all your getting.” Garcia harumphed before saying “Fine, we’ll just come by your house every night until we meet her.” Reid shot her a look before saying “She doesn’t live too close to Quantico, she might be moving soon though, but for now, that plan isn’t going to work, most of our talking is through skype or the phone.” Garcia glared, “How rude, keeping secrets from the all-knowing oracle. You still have to answer the question.” “And I’m not joking, once you meet her I’m going to seriously regret it and you will wish you didn’t know.” Garcia shrugged “we’ll deal.” He shook his head before saying “Uh so we experiment a lot in bed and we’ve messed around with a vibrator and she wants me to tie her up and uh torture her with it and it’s also been a fantasy of mine for a while we just haven’t gotten to doing it yet.” Derek looked shocked at him “Damn pretty boy, your whole innocent image just got shot right out the window, that is not innocent at all.” Spencer looked away from him and said: “And now I pray you all forget that.”

Spencer eventually cleared his throat and looked at Derek and said “Derek, truth or dare?” “Truth” “You and Pen flirt like nobody’s business, have you ever actually done anything?” Derek shook his head “Nope, we just do it for fun but we’re best friends, nothing’s ever happened.” Derek looked at Penelope and said “Baby girl, t or d?” “Truth hot stuff.” “Describe your perfect man.” Penelope winked and purred out “Tall, dark, and handsome, oh wait, just like you.” The whole team laughed so Penelope looked around the circle and said: “JJ, you have been hiding for too long my blonde beauty, t or d?” “Truth PG.” “I think you should tell us… what’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done in bed and did you like it?” JJ turned the color of a fire truck though most of the group noticed Hotch’s attention tune into her when she finally said: “Um I’ve tried a lot of stuff but the one that stands out probably because I didn’t like it was sounding, Will hadn’t wanted to try it but I did, didn’t like it, we never did it again.” Garcia spoke up a little quieter and said: “One of my boyfriends wanted me to try that once but I couldn’t understand the appeal, and you totally don’t have to answer this but why did you want to do it and why didn’t you like it?” JJ looked up briefly before looking to Garcia and saying “How has this never come up at a girl’s night is my question but um I wanted to because one of my friends told me she really liked it and why didn’t I like it, two main reasons I think, one she told me to try it blindfolded so I did, I freaked out because I couldn’t see what he was doing and it was too new, but I don’t like blindfolds period so that was a bad idea and two it was really, really cold and I don’t like temperature stuff, hot or cold.” Garcia nodded consideringly and Derek spoke up, “For what it’s worth, I’ve actually tried them, not on me but on a girlfriend that was very very kinky and she liked them, but we usually tried to warm them up in warm water or something because she didn’t like the cold either, it took us a couple of tries to figure out what to do to make it better.” JJ nodded concedingly and said “It’s possible, but that was a lot further out there than anything we usually did so we gave up on it pretty quickly. Anyways, Em, truth or dare?” “Dare.” “I dare you to sit on Dave’s lap and kiss him.” The whole team smirked knowing she was trying to set Em and Dave up while they were all pushing her to Hotch and she was completely oblivious, but they all saw the slight light cross both their faces at the dare. Emily shot a look at JJ before standing up and looking at Dave and when he nodded, she straddled his lap and leaned into his chest for a searing kiss only pulling apart when Reid cleared his throat next to them making them push apart and Emily slip back into her seat quickly but then Rossi leaned over and whispered into her ear, “We are definitely continuing that later in private,” making her blush bright red and nod slightly.

Eager to get the attention off her, Emily looked around the circle before landing her eye on Spencer, and asking, “Spencer, truth or dare?” “Truth.” “Let me think…. When’s the last time you had sex?” Spencer just smirked before saying “Saturday morning.” The whole team looked at him and Rossi just snorted “Damn, the kid’s getting more than me that’s for sure.” The team laughed and Spencer looked to Garcia and said “Pen, Truth or Dare?” “Truth.” “Have you ever been in a threesome?” She shook her head “Nope, one partner’s good for me. JJ t or d?” “Oh, I’ll take a dare this time.” Garcia smirked, “Take your top off blondie.” JJ rolled her eyes before pulling her sweatshirt over her head leaving her sitting in just her leggings and bra, and she watched Hotch to see his reaction, and she was more than thrilled by his hungry eyes that quickly roamed her body. JJ looked at Rossi and said “Dave truth or dare?” “Truth.” “You know that there’s no shortage of women that would love to date you, Dave, just what kind of package would they be getting if they earned your attention.” Rossi blinked at her for a moment before saying “between 7 and 9” not giving a straight answer and watching Emily for her reaction, her eyes dropping down to his crotch and dilating wide may have boosted his ego a bit. Rossi looked around the circle before settling on Hotch, “Aaron, truth or dare?” “Dare” Rossi smirked at his old friend and said, “Let JJ feel you up.” Hotch rolled his eyes and shot him a glare before nodding to JJ and saying “Only if you’re okay with it.” JJ nodded and walked over to Hotch slowly running her hands from his shoulders down his chest and rock-solid 6 pack, down his thighs and calves before moving back up and gently running her right hand over his quickly hardening cock while her left one slid behind him to feel his ass before moving it up across his chest again and her right hand palmed his groin one more time and she straightened up before sitting back down making the team notice their matching blushes.

Hotch looked to Garcia and swallowed heavily before saying “Garcia, truth or dare?” “Dare” “Do a body shot off of Derek.” Garcia smiled and said “oh so easy Mon Capitan. Shirt off hot stuff.” Derek complied and laid back in the recliner he was on, allowing Garcia to easily do the shot of him before he sat back up and went to put his shirt back on but was stopped by Garcia who said: “Oh no hot stuff, you wouldn’t dream to hide away such a perfect body from me would you?” Derek laughed but set his shirt back down making her smile before she looked to Emily and said “My brunette beauty, t or d?” “Dare” “Join the no shirts club Em.” Emily froze and sent her a scalding glare honestly confusing the team with her reaction. Emily gritted out “Think about that dare and realize what doesn’t work in that sentence.” Garcia’s eyebrows furrowed before her eyes widened and she said: “Ohhhh right, okay new dare, take the Italian Stallion's shirt off without using your hands if he agrees.” Rossi nodded and Emily got up and started working at the bottom hem of his t-shirt and after about 5 minutes of her getting frustrated, she finally got it off with a satisfied, “There.” She sat back down and said “Okay JJ, t or d?” “Dare” “Give Hotch a kiss, with tongue.” JJ simply got up and leaned over Hotch and pulled him into a searing kiss, running her hands through his hair as he pulled her closer to his body between his legs.” After a few seconds JJ pulled back with a happy smile on her face. JJ looked to Reid “Spence, truth or dare?” “Dare.” “Do 5 shots in a row.” Spencer shrugged “Sure.” Dave poured them and he threw them all back in about 20 seconds making the whole group stare at him so he said: “What, we’ve already established I’m from Vegas, I’ve had plenty of practice, and I can hold my liquor pretty well.” He looked around and said “Em, truth or dare.” She groaned, “Why me again, I feel like I just finished my dare, truth this time.” Spencer smirked, “Earlier you said you haven’t had sex for a while, soooo how often do you get yourself off and when was the last time?” Emily turned dark red and said, “How often, like never, when, never.” Garcia gasped “Girl! You have never masturbated once in your life? How can you even….” Emily spoke, “technically I have, like five times when I was a teenager but his question was getting myself off, which I have not.” JJ was the next one to speak and she said: “Why not?” Emily sighed and looked to her lap before saying “Because I can’t, at least I don’t think so, I never have, can we move on?” JJ nodded “Yeah, of course, I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have pried.” 

  
Emily looked around, “Derek, truth or dare?” “Dare ma’am.” “Hmmm, you know what, I like Hotch’s idea, do a body shot off PG.” Derek quickly accomplished the goal before turning the question to Garcia, “Truth or dare, babygirl?” “Truth, hot stuff.” “Why do girls actually go to the bathroom together, I don’t get it, someone once told me safety but you three do it whenever we go to a bar too.” Both JJ and Emily let out slight laughs at that and Garcia shrugged, “tons of reasons, it’s different for everyone, yes safety, especially in clubs if we’ve had something to drink, so we can touch up makeup, chat about hot guys without overprotective coworkers raining on our parade… I’m just kidding about that one, I don’t know if someone needs a pad or something.” Derek interrupted “Okay, okay good.” Penelope looked confused for a second before JJ groaned “Seriously, you’re so immature, you can’t handle someone talking about something even related to a  _ period _ , it’s natural.” Derek quickly tried to defend himself “I know that, I grew up with three women, I’m not saying anything against that, I just don’t want to think about that and my friends, family, sisters basically, I prefer to leave it an abstract concept.” JJ looked at him consideringly before saying ”Okay, we don’t need to kick your ass, all good. PG’s turn.” Penelope nodded “Sooo, JJ, earlier you asked Dave his size, what’s your bra size?” JJ just rolled her eyes knowing her friend was trying to get the boys’ reactions as the three women had gone lingerie shopping together and were all well aware of the others’ sizes, but the sorority grad was more than willing to answer the question saying “30B.” A look passed Hotch’s eyes and she was happy getting a reaction out of him, as her attention had been brought back to the fact that she was still not allowed to put her shirt back on, so said 30B rack was very visible. Never one to miss an opportunity, Derek said, “Em, baby girl? You two?” Emily shrugged and said “32C” and Garcia said “34D” Both Hotch and Rossi had vague looks of lust in their eyes as they eyed the two women they were interested in. JJ was quick to turn the question around on the guys though saying “Well Dave already outed himself, but I think you three have the same question to answer now,” with a little smirk crossing her face. Derek rolled his eyes and said “longer than 6.5 shorter than 8.5.” Hotch blushed slightly before saying simply “7 to 9.” Reid was the third to say “Between 6 to 8.” The girls exchanged glances which Derek caught and said “What?” JJ blushed and said, “Damn you guys are hung.” Derek smirked and said, “Well thanks.” Emily pushed herself into a straighter sitting position and said: “And with that lovely conversation, I’m going to relax in my room for a little while, Dave, any plans for dinner or figure it out for yourself type thing tonight.” “I was just going to say do whatever but what do you guys want?” Hotch answered, “We can figure it out or ourselves for a night, not a problem.” With that, the group dispersed, JJ going out to the pool area to relax in some of the last rays of sun of the night, Emily went up to her room, Derek and Penelope went out to the patio to play a board game. Hotch followed JJ out to the pool area wanting to talk about what he noticed during the game while Rossi disappeared upstairs.


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for our two almost couples to finally get honest with each other! And maybe some dirty smut for one of them.

Hotch walked out into the massive backyard of Rossi’s cabin and noticed JJ settling down next to the pool on a pool lounger, and that Derek and Garcia had gone to the opposite side under the covered patio area. Not worried about them, he wandered over to JJ and sat down on the lounger next to her, noticing she had put her sweatshirt back on and looked very comfortable. As she had just laid down and wasn’t yet relaxing, she rolled onto her side to look at him and opened her eyes saying “Yes?” He took a deep breath and said “I wanted to talk to you about something.” She nodded hesitantly, but seeing it was a serious conversation, sat up and crossed her legs under her so she was still comfortable but looking at him now. He briefly looked to her eyes before looking down and saying “It might’ve been totally been in my head but there were a couple moments when we were in there playing those games, where I felt like you were looking at me, and you seemed interested, at least a little. And if I’m completely off base here you can stop me but if you like me whatsoever, I just wanted you to know I really like you, god I feel like I’m 15 right now, but JJ, I want to try a relationship with you, if you want to, I’m not saying it won’t be hard, but I care about you, your smart, one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, incredibly beautiful, and an amazing mom, and okay, I think that’s all I have for my little speech.” He let out a breath but didn’t look up until she places a gentle hand under his chin and lifted his head to look her in the eyes when she said “Hotch, I have been hopelessly attracted to you for at least a year or two at this point, you helped me when Will died, you understood what going through that was like, when Pen asked me to describe my dream guy in there, I was trying to describe you, you’re hot and sexy as hell, an amazing dad, and an amazingly caring guy. I never thought someone as perfect as you could like me too, no matter how many girls nights Pen and Emily tried to convince me to tell you.” She let out a little laugh “Apparently I should have listened, but now, Hotch, I want to try this with you, I know it’ll be hard, but I completely adore Jack and I know Henry loves both of you, I want to try this with you.” She let a tentative smile cross her face and was rewarded with a full blown smile from Hotch, with those dimples she loved. JJ shifted over so she was sitting next to him on his lounger and said “I think we could be really good Hotch, we already spend so much time together outside of work as ‘just friends’ I, god I really like you, I don’t want to say I love you because this is basically our first day of dating but I do, I love how patient you are, your hot as fuck, I love watching you play with Jack and Henry and not being so uptight on the weekends, I love that you let me talk about Will even though he passed away so long ago, and apparently liked me at the same time, I love you for being you.” Hotch sent her a radiant smile before leaning over and giving her a very short kiss before saying “JJ, I feel the same way, I like you so much I feel like I’m head over heels in love with you already, I love watching you with Henry and Jack, I love watching your compassion and patience with victims on cases, I love watching you as you walk around the bullpen, your suits draping your body so perfectly, I love that you are a mother figure for Jack in every way but blood, but you never go to far, you talk to him about Haley, you’re absolutely perfect JJ.” This time it was JJ who leaned over and pulled in for a searing kiss only pulling back when they ran out of air before saying “First of all, wow, and second seriously that little speech just made me fall in love with you even more.” Hotch smiled and pulled her into his side so he could wrap and arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder as he said “I want to be the one for you JJ, I want to be the one you fall asleep with and wake up next to, I want to be the one to teach Henry all the things Will should’ve been around to teach him and I want you to be the one to teach Jack all the things Haley should’ve been here for. And I just want to put this in the air right now, you said you were grateful I let you talk about WIll, I will never, ever stop you from talking about him, it’s okay to miss him, it’s okay to mourn what you lost with him, because he obviously meant a lot to you, you married him, you had a child, a part of you will always love him if only because he fathered your child, and a part of me will always love Haley even though she’s gone too because she gave me Jack, she gave me the light of my life.” JJ looked up to him from next to him and said “Ahhh! You’re making me love you even more right now, you understand what it’s like to lose someone like that, you understand that you can’t completely let go when they were such a big part of your life for so long, and I want you to talk about Haley when you need to with me, I will be as much of a mother as Jack wants me to be, but I will never try to take Haley’s memories away or her place.” Hotch laid back onto the lounger pulling JJ with him, and into another breathtaking kiss that left her panting when she pulled back and laid on her side next to him, facing him, with his arms wrapped around her. She sighed contently and said “I like this, right here, in your arms, it feels perfect, it feels safe, right, comforting, cozy.” Hotch smiled and kissed her forehead “I like this too, holding you in my arms, close to me, it feels so perfect, you’re right.” JJ let a slight smirk cross her face as she said “Oh this is going to work perfectly, you already understand the most important fact.” Hotch furrowed his eyebrows at her and she laughed “Okay maybe we need to work on it, I’m always right, you said I was right that this is perfect.” Hotch let out a little laugh “Oh my bad, of course sweetheart.” JJ’s smile lit up her face, “I like that, I looove cute nicknames, they make me special and bubbly and loved and eee!” Hotch smiled “I can do that baby, princess, my love, sweetheart.” JJ smiled and cuddled further into Hotch’s arms before saying “Do we tell the boys right away or wait?” Hotch shrugged “Up to you, but they’re going to figure it out really fast I’m sure if we don’t tell them.” JJ nodded, “I don’t think we should try to hide it, I don’t think either of them will have a problem with it, oh my god we’re really doing this, I feel like a princess getting my fairytale ending.” Hotch laughed and pecked her forehead saying “Yes, we’re really doing this baby, I like that little quote, I’ll have to remember it princess.” JJ smiled and the two cuddled each lost in their thoughts and love and wondering how long it would take a house, well cabin, of profilers to spot the change in their relationship. Little did they know the very similar conversation going on in the house and two stories above them.

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Rossi watched Emily disappear up the stairs, and decided to follow her, wanting to have that promised conversation sooner rather than later. He grabbed his phone from the counter out of habit before going up and knocking on her door. She quickly called out for him to enter and looked a little surprised it was him knocking. “Oh hey Dave, come in. What’s up?” He shut the door and wandered over to where she was sitting up in bed having set her book down when he walked in. He sat next to her and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear before saying “I believe I promised a follow up conversation after that dare didn’t I, and I’m not one to make false promises.” Emily felt a blush heat her cheeks at the thought of that kiss but she nodded for him to continue. He set a hand on her leg that was closest to him before saying “In case it wasn’t obvious, I like you, a lot, and if you’re interested, I want to try and make something out of it, a relationship, with you.” Emily looked at her lap to hide her blush but he tilted her head back up as she said “I am interested, very, very much, Dave. I mean, your you, and sinfully hot and smart and perfect, for the longest time I though JJ and Pen were full of crap when they said I should talk to you, that we would be perfect together, not because I don’t care about you or think we would be perfect but because I’m all messed up and flawed and so me, and your so perfect and so you.” Dave chuckled lightly, “Princess, I am, in no way perfect, I have my own screwed up past to match your rough one, remember the whole 3 divorces thing, and I have no doubt we won’t have trouble here or there, hit a bump in the road, I’m the first to admit I’m a bit too stubborn sometimes, and you have a stubborn streak too, that I love, but it exists, I’m also much older than you, but I do really like you Emily, I really care about you, and I want to try this thing between us that we’ve been dancing around, I want to try us as a relationship.” Emily smiled and nodded and said “So do I, I don’t care if your older, believe me you are still a sexy GOD, I want to try this thing between us, I want to go to work with you in the morning, I want it all, with you, but first, I think we need a replay of that kiss.” Rossi smirked and pushed her down on the bed hovering over her and locking her mouth in a burning kiss that left them both gasping for air while they lay next to each other, comfortable in the other’s embrace. After she could get her breath back, apparently Dave had let her think for too long because she let out a heavy sigh that sent him casting a worried glance down towards her. “What’s wrong bella?” Emily looked up to him briefly before looking away “Me, this whole us in bed thing, I’m really screwed up there, you know about the abortion I had, you’re one of like 2 people in the whole world who knows, I mean, for all I know I could be so fucked up that even if I could have sex I might not be able to have kids, and I wasn’t exaggerating downstairs, I haven’t had sex in ten years because it’s always been awful and painful for me. When I was 15 was my first time, I didn’t have sex again for a few years until I was 17 or 18, and it was still really bad, I never got off any of the times, I don’t know if its a mental block or if I’m just that fucked up but I mean, you’re you, your sexual prowess is famous in the FBI, how is that supposed to work?” Dave ran a gentle hand through her hair noticing her working herself up and he replied, “I know all that bella, and know this, I would never, ever force you to have sex if you didn’t want to, I would give up sex forever if it meant I got to hold you in my arms like this for the rest of my life. Yes, it’s always been a part of any past relationship of mine, but there’s so much more too, that’s the stuff I picture for us, not having sex with you if you don’t want it, and I’m sorry did I miss a couple years of dating somewhere because I wasn’t aware that we were planning on having kids tomorrow.” he added the last piece sarcastically making Emily smile just slightly before saying “So maybe I’m getting worked up to soon, but it is a real possibility, and you’ve told us about your son, and you are the fatherly type Dave, it would fit that you’d want kids at some point.” Dave looked at her carefully before saying “I think you’re forgetting I do have a daughter, even if I didn’t know about her for a while, I do now, and we get together sometimes, and yes, maybe eventually in the future I might want kids, but that’s still a ways off, and if we can’t, YOU are who I want Emily, the other things, we can worry about later.” Emily sent him a radiant smile before relaxing her head down onto his arm and wrapping her arms tighter around him. They laid there in the quiet for nearly 15 minutes with soft touches speaking the words, before Rossi heard her breathing change as she fell into a light sleep. He smiled and kissed her head before following her into a peaceful slumber.

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JJ was very happily curled up in Hotch’s arms and he would gently brush her hair out of her face when the wind would blow and she was happy, but she also decided she didn’t want to wait any longer for the perfection of his body she had been denying herself for so long so she pushed him flat on the lounger and rolled on top sliding her hands under her shirt as she pushed her lips onto his in a breathtaking kiss. He immediately responded, running his hands through her hand and down her backside pulling her down into him making her groan. When she finally pulled back she stared down at her with lust filled eyes and a heavy blush staining her cheeks and he spoke “Okay feel free to do that anytime, but what on earth prompted that?” She buried her head in his shoulder before saying “You have no clue how long I’ve wanted you and now you’re all mine and looking so perfectly sexy and hot.” “Oh I am, am I? Do you think we should maybe go inside before we go too far out here and give anyone who walks by a show?” JJ groaned “Fine,” before hopping up and pulling him with her, making him laugh and saying “Oh, we’re going now are we?” She intertwined their hands and cuddled into his side as she gently pulled him through the backyard, up the stairs and into his bedroom. But the power turned, as soon as the door shut Hotch spun JJ against the door pressing into her in a searing kiss. JJ moaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms around him before jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist making him laugh slightly before turning and carrying her across the room before gently setting her on her back and crawling over her and pressing his mouth onto hers. He pushed her sweatshirt up and over her head before leaning down and kissing down her neck to her pulse, biting shortly before smoothing it out with his tongue, he pushed her leggings off admiring his view for a moment. JJ reached up and tugged on his sweatshirt and quickly got it off before shoving his jeans off and pulling him back on top of her. He ground down into her slightly and she moaned before he reached behind her and slipped her bra off before moving slowly down her body sucking on her nipples and gently biting them before moving lower and biting a couple places, sucking them, making her moan louder, before he slid her panties down her legs and pressed a gentle kiss to her clit before licking a stripe up her dripping pussy and sucking on her clit. She was frantically bucking into him, desperate for more and when he gently slid two fingers into her, she barely lasted another minute before Hotch barely covered her mouth with his as she let out a scream and shook violently around her fingers before dropping bonelessly onto the bed. She looked up at him with an intense look and said “Damn,” before weakly reaching for his shoulder and pulling him down onto her and into a kiss. 

After a moment she took notice of the large bulge pressing into her thigh still covered by his boxers and she said “But you still have a little problem to take care of here don’t you?” as she reached down and cupped him through the fabric making him groan. “Fuck JJ, you okay to keep going.” She sent him a sultry smirk “Oh believe me I’m more than ready.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position and pulled his boxers down inhaling sharply and saying “Fuck, big boy aren’t you,” Hotch snorted “Mmm, maybe I just didn’t want to get into a posturing contest downstairs” and JJ smiled “That’s okay, all of this is mine now, fuck you’re massive, will that even fit?” Hotch laughed “Well I do have a kid sooo yeah, and I’ll be gentle, don’t worry.” “Oh I’m not.” and with that quip she rotated her body around and slowly sucked the head of his monster into her hot, warm mouth, making Hotch moan out “Fuck JJ, that feels so good.” She laughed around his throbbing cock sending vibrations all the way up into him and moved her head lower on him, getting about an inch away before coughing on it slightly when she choked a little. The hand he had laced in her hair pulled her head up slightly, “Don’t hurt yourself babe, I have plenty more plans for that hot mouth of yours.” JJ moaned at his statement and he jerked into her mouth before he could stop it saying “Oh you like that don’t you, you like me talking dirty to you, you like sucking my cock?” JJ moaned and after sucking him off for another minute he slid out of her mouth making her look at him with a little pouty lip that he quickly kissed off and said “You’re too good baby, I was about to cum and I want to be buried deep inside you when I do. Condom?” She shook her head “No need, I’m on birth control and we both had bureau physicals a month ago.” Hotch nodded and teased her entrance with the head of his cock before slowly sinking in, making her scream out “HOLY FUCK!” so loud Hotch was pretty sure anyone in the house at the moment heard but he kept going until he was all the way in before holding still and leaning down to whisper, “And you thought you couldn’t take it all, you’re so tight though, so hot and warm around my cock.” She felt like her head was filled with cotton balls but she managed to get out “Fuck you feel so good in me, so full, so deep, so stretched.” Hotch felt a definite gleam of male pride before he testingly moved out and in just slightly and when she moaned out in please he started gently thrusting in before she called out “Fuck harder, please.” 

He started slamming into her harder and harder until he felt her whole body tense around him tightly as she cried out her orgasm, with him quickly following her over the edge only a couple thrusts later. The two laid there connected for a couple minutes before Hotch gently slid out of her, and quickly walked to his connected bathroom to grab a towel before returning to JJ who was watching him with a thoroughly sexed look on her face that he thought was absolutely gorgeous. He gently pushed her legs apart slightly so he could clean her legs off a little getting a whimper that had him immediately freezing in place, she sent him a faint smile and said “You’re fine, just sore already, I mean, you’re absolutely huge and it’s been a while since I did anything much.” He pecked her forehead before quickly wiping himself up as well before tossing the rag off to the side and sliding back into bed next to her. He pulled her into his arms before saying “I’m sorry I hurt you, I love you J.” She nuzzled his neck, “I don’t mind, promise.” The two laid there for a moment before he said “I think we should talk about if there’s anything you don’t want me to do, or do want me to, though, because I don’t want to hurt you.” She pulled back slightly and propped herself up on one arm before saying “Okayyyy, why don’t we do it 20 questions style and go from there? You ask me and then I’ll throw questions back at you when I come up with them.” 

Hotch nodded and said “But before we do that, you know you can call me Aaron right, especially now that we’re dating?” “I assumed but, well, habit.” Hotch nodded and said “So was I completely off base or do you really like dirty talk?” JJ nodded quickly but blushed “Yeah I do, it’s really hot.” Hotch smirked “Got it, do you usually like rougher, gentler, or a mix?”

JJ blushed and said “I think I’m going to be the color of a fire truck by the time this conversation’s over, but it depends on the situation, sometimes I need it softer, gentle, obviously if one of us is hurt gentler, but sometimes I’ll want you to go totally dominant on me and go a little rougher.” Hotch nodded “Makes sense, I match up there pretty well, sometimes I just need to be completely in control, but if you don’t want that or anything feels wrong, I don’t care how much I want it, I will always stop if you want me to, okay?” JJ nodded and said “Yeah, I trust you, for me, a lot of the time, even if it’s just sort of in the middle I want you to be mostly in control, between being a mom and having to be extra dominant at work as a woman with male officers and agents and such, I think I usually want to just let someone else take over, take control.” Hotch nodded, “Yeah, sometimes I might want you to take control, but I don’t like giving up that power, it’s really hard for me so same, well opposite, but we match.” JJ nodded and said “What kind of things do you think might be interesting to play with, or do you not like to use anything?” Hotch thought for a moment before replying “I’ve tried some things that I liked, some I didn’t, but I don’t think I’ve ever been as adventurous as what you alluded to during the game earlier, but I think I’d be willing to try a lot, you sound like you have something in mind… what do you want to try?” JJ blushed even brighter and said “Damn profiler, um not all the time, but sometimes I really like being tied up, or handcuffed to the bed or something, sooo” Hotch smiled “Both of which I am more than willing to do, not always because I like feeling your hands on me, but maybe sometimes.” JJ nodded “Maybe like smaller clamps too? I think anything else would be a situational basis.”

After a moment JJ said, “Oh, and also maybe spanking? Sometimes? In some kind of roleplay, not where anyone would be able to tell the next day, but just a tiny bit, it kind of goes in with the dominant alpha thing.” She looked away but Hotch titled her eyes back up to his, “Never be ashamed to tell me something, that you like, or don’t like, I will never, ever judge you, okay?” At her nod he continued “Spanking with a hand, I can do, lightly, but I don’t think I could do anything beyond that.” JJ nodded, “That’s fine, I have no interest in paddles or something, I want it to be like a fun spanking, not like excruciatingly painful, and part of it for me is the close contact between me and you. Though I will warn you, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but bruise very easily, so it might look like you’ve hurt me but you haven’t really, that goes for sex and case injuries, you’re not allowed to freak out every time you see a tiny bruise because I can get a bruise the size of half my palm from walking into a doorframe, okay?” “Well I’m going to worry, and I don’t want to see you in pain, but I will try not to freak out. Changing the topic back, but is there anything you definitely want me to avoid or things that you know you hate?” “God this is going to sound dramatic and not that I want to get into this right now, but before Will, I had a boyfriend, it was a bad relationship, but anyways, I’ve been scared of the dark my whole life, never gone away, but now, I really, really, can’t do blindfolds, I don’t know if you like them but this is one I absolutely will not compromise on, I really tried to get over it and convinced Will to try it once after the situation you heard about downstairs, just simple things, and he didn’t want to but when I finally convinced him I barely lasted 2 minutes before I fell into a full blown panic attack. After that I accepted I can’t deal without not being able to see, so, wow that was a long explanation sorry.” Hotch cut her off with a gentle kiss before saying “Don’t apologize, that’s what I wanted to know, why I asked the question, I wouldn’t want to do something that would trigger a panic attack like that, and I guess it’s a good thing I’m not big on blindfolds anyway, I want to see your gorgeous eyes.” JJ smiled at that before her smile faded and Hotch noticed.

“What else, there’s more than just the dark it sounds like.” JJ nodded slowly, “Gags are only slightly better than a blindfold, I never actually tried them again after I split with this one boyfriend so I don’t know, but considering that I threw up in nerves when Will and I had a similar conversation about limits once when he brought up gags, I don’t think it would go well.” Hotch nodded “That’s fine, I have no interest there anyway, I want to be able to hear what you say, anything else?” JJ nodded “I know some people like hot and cold things, like ice cubes or candles or something, I really can’t deal with that or I end up in flashbacks um, this one’s easier to show you than explain I think.” She rolled onto her stomach and pushed the blanket so it was just barely covering her butt and what he hadn’t seen earlier but could now see were faint pink scars, some in circular shapes, some more unidentifiable blobs. He didn’t know what they could be from before he remembered her specifically saying candles, and he gasped causing her to recover herself and roll back to her side as he asked “JJ, please, please tell me those aren’t from someone burning you.” She shook her head “They-they are, candle wax, but they weren’t made for sex or play, so the burned too hot, oh my god the pain.” She shook her head trying to clear the memories before saying “Sorry, I, that’s what I meant by I can’t deal with temperature stuff, it sends me falling into bad memories.” 

Hotch pulled her into his arms so he could kiss her forehead before looking at her and saying “Who the hell was this asshole who hurt you like that?” She shook her head “Doesn’t matter.” “It does JJ, he left scars, that’s not nothing.” JJ nodded, “No it’s not, but if we’re really trying this relationship, you have to trust me when I say, let it go.” Hotch looked at her before nodding and accepting it saying “Alright, I don’t like it, but I’ll let it go.” JJ gave him a grateful smile before saying “I think that’s it, the most important stuff anyway, what about you, anything definite yes or no?” Hotch looked thoughtful for a second fore saying “I don’t know, maybe on you like playing with a vibrator, I think most things would be a individual decision thing, but on my no list is I will never do anything to deliberately hurt you, I don’t know exactly how much any of you guys have figured out about my childhood and my father, and I don’t want sympathy, but summarizing it, he was an abusive ass, and I’ve always worried about turning into him, so the most violence I could probably deal with would be like spanking, and honestly, I don’t think I could ever use leather to restrain you, rope or simple handcuffs is probably it.” JJ gave him a gentle smile and said “You know how I know you won’t turn into him, because you’re worried about it, I know you would never hit Jack, or Henry for that matter, and even in a different scenario with a lover not a child you still worry about it. But also, Aaron, I would never, ever, ask you to do something you felt that uncomfortable doing, sex is supposed to be good, for both of us, okay?” Hotch nodded but pulled her in closer to him so her head was tucked under her chin slightly before laying on his back with her partially on top and saying “Will you lay here for a while with me, just nap for a little bit?” JJ nodded, “Of course, go to sleep, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”


End file.
